Apple or Banana?
You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people
You can be the finest apple in the world – ripe, juicy, sweet,
succulent – and offer yourself to all.
But you must remember that there will be people who do not like apples.
You must understand that if you are the world’s finest apple, and
someone you love does not like apples, you have the choice of becoming a banana.
But you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana,
you will be a second-rate banana.
But you can always be the finest apple.
You must also realize that if you choose to be a second-rate banana.
There will be people who do not like bananas.
You can spend your life trying to become the best banana –
which is impossible if you are an apple
– or you can seek again to be the finest apple
If you water yourself down constantly to please people or to fit in or not offend anyone, you lose the freedom and joy of being uniquely you. It is easier to love yourself when you are yourself. At the same time you grow as a human being because when you can be yourself, you allow others to be themselves too.
So do not let society determine your goals and dreams. No doubt that is an easy way out but try not to be one of those people. To make yourself fit in, you end up doing stuff that others value the most and forgetting what you are passionate about. It is a serious problem if you never do what you want to do yet always do what everyone else wants.
Your true self is right there but is buried under other people’s opinions, cultural conditioning, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a child that, with time, became your beliefs. For “how to be yourself,” you have to find yourself through unlearning and remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.
Stop caring what other people perceive of you. It is easier said than done, but what people think of you reflects them, not you.
Aesop is the most excellent storyteller in human history. His analogies are more straightforward but contain more profound meanings.
Once, he was moving out from his city of Athens to Argos. He met a man who was coming from Argos.
The man from Argos asked Aesop, “You are coming from Athens. Please tell me something about the people there: what manner of men they are, what they are like.”
Aesop asked the man, “First, you tell me what type of people are there in Argos.”
The man said, “Very disgusting, nauseating, violent, quarrelsome.” And all these qualities flashed on the face of the man.
Aesop said, “I am sorry. You will find the people of Athens just the same.”
Later on, he met another man from Argos, and he also asked the same question: “You are coming from Athens, and you have lived your whole life there — what manner of men are they there? What are they like?”
And Aesop again asked, “First, tell me what manner of men are there in Argos.”
And the man became aflame with nostalgia… a very loving memory of the people of Argos. His face shone, and he said, “Delightful, friendly, kind, and good neighbors.”
Aesop said, “I am happy to tell you that you will find the people of Athens just the same.”
Wherever you go, you will encounter yourself; This is the basic truth about man. So, do not constantly wonder what others are thinking.
In the process of finding yourself, do not bully yourself by saying that you are not good enough. For example, do not tell yourself that you need to be perfect to be worthy of love. Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes.
To be yourself, be open to change. We are the outcome of hundreds of experiences and pieces of information. So do not expect yourself to remain the same but allow yourself to change.
To be yourself means to be willing to be vulnerable with your partner and friends. Honesty and pretending not to be different strengthen the relationships. You might be surprised how.
Real growth starts when you leave your comfort zone. Similarly, the real journey to know yourself begins there, too. Experiencing new things as well as expressing will help you learn about yourself again and be yourself too.
But then don’t try too hard – just be yourself.
How to cope up with Stress? – Click Here